Poem

Rules and Regulations - Lewis Carrol


A short direction 
To avoid dejection, 
By variations 
In occupations, 
And prolongation 
Of relaxation, 
And combinations 
Of recreations, 
And disputation 
On the state of the nation 
In adaptation
To your station, 
By invitations 
To friends and relations, 
By evitation 
Of amputation, 
By permutation 
In conversation, 
And deep reflection 
You'll avoid dejection. 

Learn well your grammar, 
And never stammer, 
Write well and neatly, 
And sing most sweetly, 
Be enterprising, 
Love early rising, 
Go walk of six miles, 
Have ready quick smiles, 
With lightsome laughter, 
Soft flowing after. 
Drink tea, not coffee;
Never eat toffy. 
Eat bread with butter. 
Once more, don't stutter. 


Don't waste your money, 
Abstain from honey. 
Shut doors behind you, 
(Don't slam them, mind you.) 
Drink beer, not porter. 
Don't enter the water 
Till to swim you are able. 
Sit close to the table. 
Take care of a candle. 
Shut a door by the handle, 
Don't push with your shoulder 
Until you are older. 
Lose not a button. 
Refuse cold mutton. 
Starve your canaries. 
Believe in fairies. 
If you are able, 
Don't have a stable 
With any mangers. 
Be rude to strangers. 

Moral: Behave.